Application for Recognition of Bedside Water Glass
A fresh glass of water was placed on the bedside table at 11pm. It is now 7am. The water was not touched during the night. The glass is evidence of an intention that did not become a need.
To whom it may concern,
I am writing on behalf of the bedside water glass, which has been placed every evening for approximately four years and consumed on approximately one occasion per week.
The Application
The bedside water glass requests recognition as a precautionary measure rather than a beverage. It is placed against the possibility of middle-of-the-night thirst, which is a real possibility with a low probability on any given night.
On the nights when thirst occurs, the glass is used and its purpose is fulfilled. These nights are the minority.
On the majority of nights, the glass sits full beside the bed until morning, accumulating room temperature and a small probability of disturbance by the person in the bed, and is then carried to the kitchen and poured out.
The Morning Water Status
Water in a glass that has been beside a bed overnight is technically still water. It is the same water placed there the previous evening. Its chemistry has not changed. Its drinkability is the same.
It is also morning water now, which is a category defined by duration rather than content. Morning water has been beside a sleeping person for eight hours and has taken on a quality that is not unhygienic but is not fresh.
Morning water is poured out. A new glass is filled.
The Calculation
Four years of nightly placement: approximately 1,460 glasses placed. Occasions of middle-of-the-night use: approximately 210. Occasions poured out in the morning: approximately 1,250. Water used for precautionary placement that was never needed: approximately 1,250 glasses.
This calculation is submitted in support of the water glass's continued placement. The 210 occasions were the important ones. The 1,250 were the insurance.