Balcony Pigeon Diplomacy Has Exceeded Its Original Mandate
A system to discourage pigeons has been operating for three years with no reduction in pigeons.
I.
It began with a single pigeon on the railing. The balcony owner shooed it. The pigeon departed. The balcony owner considered this a resolution.
The pigeon returned eleven minutes later with two colleagues.
II.
The first deterrent was a plastic owl purchased online. The listing described it as a "realistic replica with 360-degree head rotation." The head did not rotate. The pigeons appeared to find it companionable.
The owl was repositioned. The pigeons adjusted.
A second deterrent was purchased: reflective tape strung between the railing posts. The tape fluttered. One pigeon used it as a perch.
III.
A distinction emerged.
There were pigeons who came to roost. There were pigeons who came to eat breadcrumbs left by a neighbor two floors up, whose breadcrumb protocol had been in operation for an estimated four years. There were sparrows, who were not a problem and perhaps should not be caught in the deterrent net.
The balcony owner reconfigured the deterrent system to exclude the sparrow-accessible corner. This required moving the reflective tape.
A new pigeon found the sparrow-accessible corner immediately.
IV.
The system as it now stands: reflective tape covers three-quarters of the railing. The southwest corner is kept clear for sparrows. A plastic owl guards the eastern end. A second piece of tape, added six months ago, covers what was briefly an unguarded gap.
Pigeons land on the section of railing adjacent to the tape, which is not covered by tape because adding tape there would block access to the drainage pipe for maintenance purposes.
The system has been in operation for three years.
V.
Once balcony pigeon diplomacy saves five minutes, it becomes eligible for permanent cultural adoption. The system has not saved five minutes. It has consumed, by conservative estimate, four hours of reconfiguration, two online purchases, one disagreement about whether the sparrow exception was worth maintaining, and a text sent to the neighbor two floors up that was never replied to.
The pigeons number three most mornings. Sometimes four.
The sparrows continue to use the designated corner.