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SUNDAY, 3 OCTOBER 2021

Correspondence on Recruiter Message Autopsy

The message was received, analyzed for tone and implied salary range, and not answered. This report covers the analysis.

3 MIN READlinkedin cringe

To: The Recruiter From: The Recipient Re: Your message of this week Status: Read. Analyzed. Closed.


Your message arrived on a Tuesday. It was read on the same Tuesday, after which it remained in an open tab for approximately four hours while a determination was made regarding whether to respond.

This correspondence constitutes the response.

The Message

The message said "exciting opportunity" in the first sentence, which is not a sentence that conveys information about the opportunity. The word "exciting" was applied to something that had not yet been described. This produced a situation in which the reader was asked to feel something before being given anything to feel it about.

The company name was not included. This is a common approach. It is based on the theory that withholding the company name creates curiosity. It creates a different thing.

The Autopsy Findings

The recipient spent time attempting to identify the company from contextual clues in the message. The clues were: a vague industry description, a role title that exists at approximately four hundred companies, and the recruiter's LinkedIn profile, which listed past placements in a range of sectors so broad as to constitute no sector at all.

The company was not identified. The exercise continued anyway.

A search was performed on the role title plus the industry description. Fourteen results appeared. Two were in the correct city. One had recently posted a job description with similar language. The recipient read the job description. It was not relevant to their background.

The Indifference

Professional indifference is not hostility. It is the stable output of a system that has processed enough similar messages to have calibrated expectations. The calibration is: the company will be one the recipient has already evaluated, or one with a compensation band that was already known to be misaligned, or one that is genuinely interesting but for a role that is adjacent to but not equivalent to what the recipient would consider.

The calibration is not certain. It is often correct.

The Non-Response

The message was not answered. This required no decision. The decision was the absence of a decision, which is itself a decision, but one that requires no action and therefore no energy.

The recruiter will follow up in one week. The follow-up will reference the original message and ask whether it was received. It was received. This response will also not be sent.

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