Hearing Concerning Washing Machine Lid Recheck
A formal hearing to determine whether the laundry basket has been fully addressed.
HEARING TRANSCRIPT Subject: Washing Machine Lid Recheck Chair: The Record Witness: The Person Who Reopened the Machine
CHAIR: Please describe what happened after the machine was loaded.
WITNESS: I closed the lid, started the machine, and then reopened it to check whether the basket still had something in it.
CHAIR: Had you checked the basket before loading?
WITNESS: Yes.
CHAIR: Had the basket changed after loading?
WITNESS: No.
CHAIR: Then why did you reopen the machine?
WITNESS: There is always a chance something is still in the basket. A sock. Something that fell behind the rim.
CHAIR: And was there?
WITNESS: No.
CHAIR: This is not the first time this has occurred.
WITNESS: No.
CHAIR: When did you last find an item in the basket after having previously checked it?
WITNESS: [pause] I cannot recall specifically.
CHAIR: One visual inspection of the basket is not sufficient. The witness required a second look to reach a state of readiness to close the machine.
WITNESS: That is an accurate summary.
CHAIR: The absurd rule governing washing machine lid recheck states that any cycle of laundry is incomplete until the basket has been checked more times than are logically required by the number of items the basket contained. This rule has acquired procedural status in your household.
WITNESS: The machine was already running.
CHAIR: Yes.
WITNESS: I stopped it to check.
CHAIR: Yes.
WITNESS: And then I closed it again and restarted.
CHAIR: The lid recheck has become a standard step in the procedure, a step that the procedure does not list but everyone follows. What would it require for you to close the machine on the first attempt?
WITNESS: Confidence that the basket was empty.
CHAIR: You had looked in the basket.
WITNESS: I know.
The hearing is adjourned. No finding was issued. The basket was, and remains, empty.