Incident Record: Coin Averaging Spreadsheet
Someone maintains a spreadsheet that makes repeated losses feel like disciplined record keeping.
To: The Spreadsheet From: The Person Who Built You Re: A Formal Accounting of What You Have Become Date: May 2022, which you already know because you have a column for it
This letter is addressed to you directly because I feel you deserve an honest accounting of our relationship, which began in October 2021 when I created you as a simple cost-basis tracker and you have since become something else entirely.
What You Were
In October, you had four columns: coin, purchase date, purchase price, and quantity. The math was straightforward. The purpose was clarity.
The purpose has been achieved. The clarity is not the kind I intended.
What You Are Now
You currently contain nineteen columns. The additions were made incrementally during months when the market declined, and each addition made the overall picture seem more analytical and less catastrophic.
You now contain: a "blended average" column, which shows my total cost per coin across all purchases; a "current value" column, which updates when I remember to update it; a "target price to break even" column, which I consult more than the current value column; a "DCA entry" column for each month I bought the dip; a "DCA outcome" column, which is currently expressing opinions I did not invite.
The Governing Logic
Uncertainty may be converted into certainty by checking the same number again under identical conditions. I have checked the blended average entry for my largest position forty-one times since January. The blended average has not changed because I have not bought more. Checking it does not change it. I check it anyway because for the duration of the check I am an analyst reviewing data rather than a person sitting with an unrealized loss.
The check cannot change the price, yet it changes the person's mood as if an action occurred.
You are the instrument of this mood change. I built you for this purpose without knowing I was building you for this purpose.
The Spreadsheet's Honest Statement
The blended average is accurate. The target price to break even is accurate. The current value is accurate as of the last update, which was four days ago when I was in a mood to know.
The DCA outcome column contains a formula. The formula is not flattering. I wrote the formula. I cannot blame you for what it says.
Status
Once coin averaging spreadsheet affects a mood twice, checking or explaining it again becomes mandatory research. I have explained your existence to three people. Each explanation involved the phrase "dollar-cost averaging" and a brief description of your architecture that made you sound like a disciplined system and not a way of feeling better about a declining portfolio.
You are both of these things.
You will be updated tonight. The update will include a new row for a small purchase I made yesterday, which brings the blended average down by a negligible amount and makes the target price slightly more achievable.
The mood will improve for a few hours.
Correspondence filed. Investigation ongoing.