Interim Policy on Condiment Loyalty

PRELIMINARY FINDINGS Subject: Condiment Loyalty, Ongoing Status: Active

Subject

The person who uses the same condiment on unrelated foods because the bottle is already open.

Background

On the evening of the initial incident, the subject opened a bottle of hot sauce to accompany a bowl of leftover rice. The hot sauce was appropriate for this purpose. The rice was consumed. The bottle remained open on the table.

A piece of bread was subsequently required. The hot sauce was applied to the bread. This was noted internally as "fine, actually." A third item was prepared: eggs. The hot sauce was applied.

At this point, a pattern had been established.

What Was Found

The condiment loyalty is not about flavor compatibility. It is about the bottle's status. An open bottle is an active bottle. An active bottle has a claim on the meal. The claim is not contractual. It is spatial.

The bottle is here. The food is here. The connection requires no further justification.

The ritual gains exceptions only when the condiment is genuinely incompatible with the food, and even then, compatibility is sometimes tested before the exception is confirmed.

Contributing Factors

1. The condiment in question was purchased with some enthusiasm and is being used to justify that enthusiasm.
2. The partially-used bottle creates a mild obligation to finish it.
3. Finishing the bottle sooner requires applying it more frequently.
4. Applying it more frequently is described as "getting into it."

Findings

Any condiment loyalty repeated three times becomes part of the meal and must be performed again. The condiment loyalty is not considered unusual by the subject. The subject cannot currently recall meals from the past eleven days that did not involve this condiment.

By the end, hunger is merely the funding source for a ceremony that now has its own constitution.

Status

The bottle is approximately one-third full. Estimated completion: one to two weeks, depending on breakfast participation.