Name Pronunciation Avoidance Has Been Granted Temporary Authority
Someone's name was not said for six days because saying it required committing to a pronunciation that might be wrong.
TRANSCRIPT OF PROCEEDINGS Hearing on Name Pronunciation Avoidance Convened: Third week of knowing the person.
CHAIR: State the situation.
WITNESS: I know someone named Niamh.
CHAIR: How do you know them?
WITNESS: Work. We've worked together for three weeks.
CHAIR: Have you used their name?
WITNESS: In email. You don't have to say it in email.
CHAIR: In conversation?
WITNESS: I refer to her as "you" directly. Or I get her attention without using the name.
CHAIR: How do you get someone's attention without using their name?
WITNESS: There are techniques. Starting a sentence nearby. Moving into their sightline. Beginning with "hey" and making brief eye contact. It works more often than it should.
CHAIR: The governing rule: once name pronunciation avoidance becomes a courtesy ritual, efficiency is no longer an acceptable reason to skip it. Would you describe what you are doing as courtesy?
WITNESS: I would describe it as not wanting to be wrong in front of her.
CHAIR: Being wrong is not permanent.
WITNESS: No. But once I say it incorrectly, there's a correction. Then there's a moment where she has to decide whether to correct me or let it go. Then I have to live with whichever she chooses.
CHAIR: The name pronunciation avoidance adds a small courtesy step between two people.
WITNESS: It also removes a large awkward moment. These are equivalent from my perspective.
CHAIR: Both people start anticipating the other person's interpretation of the courtesy. Does she know you don't know how to pronounce her name?
WITNESS: She may have noticed I've never said it.
CHAIR: So the avoidance is not invisible.
WITNESS: No. I think we've both decided not to address it.
CHAIR: Eventually a simple interaction requires timing, plausible deniability, and a shared agreement that no negotiation occurred.
WITNESS: We have that. We have a working arrangement.
CHAIR: How long does the working arrangement need to hold?
WITNESS: I looked it up last night. It's "Neeve." I've been saying it correctly in my head the whole time.
CHAIR: Hearing closed.