Provisional Finding on Delivery Handoff Mask
The moment of contactless delivery has produced a class of performers who cannot determine who is performing for whom.
Provisional Finding on Delivery Handoff Mask Transcript of Proceedings, Residential Threshold Division
Q: Can you describe the interaction as you observed it?
A: The delivery arrived. I received notification on my phone that it was outside. I went to the door. The person was masked. I was masked. We did not speak. I picked up the bag. They had already turned and were returning to their vehicle.
Q: At what point did the mask become relevant to this proceeding?
A: After I closed the door. I reviewed the footage from the doorbell camera. I had lowered my mask before opening the door to receive the delivery. The delivery person had lowered their mask before I opened the door. We both wore our masks for the full interaction, which is to say we were both masked during the moment when neither of us was looking at the other person.
Q: So the mask was worn during the portion of the interaction when its presence could not be observed by the person it was meant to reassure?
A: That is an accurate summary of the situation, yes.
Q: And when were the masks removed?
A: The mask, upon examination, had been lowered approximately four seconds before the door opened and was restored approximately two seconds after it closed. The same pattern appeared to apply to the delivery person, though in reverse sequence.
Q: Can you characterize the atmosphere of the handoff itself?
A: It was correct. Both parties conducted themselves with the specific solemnity of people who had rehearsed this interaction for each other's benefit. We made brief eye contact. I held up the bag briefly in a gesture that could be interpreted as acknowledgment or as a small demonstration that I had the bag. Neither of us nodded. There was a shared understanding that nodding would have crossed into something more personal than the situation called for.
Q: Is it your finding that the mask served a protective function during this interaction?
A: The mask served the function of indicating that masking was occurring. Whether it also served a protective function during the thirty-second window when both parties were present at the threshold is outside the scope of this inquiry, as is everything prior to that window and everything after it. This finding addresses only what happened at the door.
Q: Provisional finding?
A: Provisional. The situation continues to develop.
Absurd Rule 14-C: The Delivery Threshold Standard
Protective equipment must be worn during all phases of contactless handoff interaction. The equipment shall be considered worn if it is in place at the moment of mutual visibility. Phases occurring before or after mutual visibility fall outside the Standard and are governed by personal discretion, which is to say they are not governed at all.
Contradiction on Record
This Standard was developed to reduce contact. The Standard has produced a brief, highly formal moment of contact that neither party anticipated and neither party can explain.
The situation continues to develop.