Record of Support Request Wording
The problem is clear to the person experiencing it. The message describing it has been rewritten three times.
The order did not arrive.
This was the finding. The finding required communication to a third party. The communication required a message.
The first draft of the message said: "Hi, my order hasn't arrived and it was supposed to be delivered yesterday. Could you please look into this?"
The subject reread this message. The message was factually accurate. The subject was dissatisfied with it in ways that took a moment to identify.
The word "Hi" felt too casual for a complaint. The word "please" felt apologetic for a situation in which the subject had done nothing requiring apology. "Look into this" was vague. The message did not include the order number.
The message was revised.
A support request is not a description of the problem. It is a description of the problem calibrated for the audience, the stakes, and the tone the sender wants to project while having a problem. The calibration requires decisions: how firm to be, how much information to include, whether the subject line should be neutral or direct, whether to mention that this is the second issue with this service this month.
The subject did not mention the second issue. Mentioning it felt like escalation. The subject was not certain escalation was warranted. The subject was also not certain that a delivery arriving one day late required the same tone as a package that had been lost entirely.
The order was one day late. This was annoying. It was not a crisis. The message should reflect this.
Second draft: "Order number [XXXX] was due for delivery on May 30th and has not arrived. Please advise on current status and expected delivery date."
The subject reread this. It was clearer. It sounded, the subject felt, slightly aggressive in a way that was not the subject's actual mood. The subject was frustrated but not demanding. The message read as demanding.
Third draft: "I placed order [XXXX] scheduled for delivery on May 30th, which hasn't arrived yet. Could you let me know the current status? Thank you."
The "Thank you" at the end was added to soften the message. The softening was deliberate. The deliberateness was not mentioned in the message.
The message is supposed to convey a problem, yet writing it requires performing a version of oneself who has a problem in a particular way: competent, reasonable, not difficult, clear without being cold.
The third draft was sent at 11:23 AM.
A response arrived at 2:47 PM confirming the order had been delayed at the sorting facility and would arrive the following day. The order arrived. The matter was resolved.
The three drafts took fourteen minutes. The problem took one business day to resolve from the point of contact. The message that was ultimately sent had no effect on the resolution timeline.
The fourth draft, which was never written, would have been the same as the third.