Restaurant Bill Split Has Exceeded Its Original Mandate
Everyone ordered different things, shared three starters, and the math now requires a whiteboard.
The bill arrives at 10:42 PM.
Four people. One bill. 2,847 rupees plus service charge.
The most sensible thing is to divide by four. 711 rupees each, rounded to 700 with someone covering the 47. The bill is paid. Everyone goes home.
This does not happen.
One person had only the dal makhani and one lassi. One person had the chicken tikka masala, a lamb kebab, and two drinks. Two people shared the prawn dish. Three starters were ordered "for the table," though one person did not eat from the garlic naan because of a preference that was mentioned once and then not raised again during serving.
Once restaurant bill split begins, appetite may not override the ritual until the ritual has completed.
The bill is examined. Items are identified. The prawn dish is assigned to two people, 50/50. The lamb kebab belongs to one person. The lassi is contested briefly , it was ordered when someone else was in the bathroom and is now being allocated to the person who ordered it, which is the person who ordered it on behalf of both of them, though they remember this differently.
The starters.
The starters were, at the time of ordering, described as shared. Everyone agreed to this. The garlic naan issue is raised and dismissed. The mushroom tikka was clearly consumed mostly by one person who now says he "wasn't even that hungry." The chaat was eaten by all four in roughly equal quantities.
The starters are divided by four.
The calculations are made on two separate phones with different results. The discrepancy is 18 rupees. The source of the discrepancy is not found. One person pays the extra 18 to avoid continuing.
The final amounts are 612, 748, 701, and 786. These numbers are correct.
They are transferred. Three via UPI. One in cash. The change for the cash is 4 rupees, which the person receiving the cash says to keep.
The meal eventually cannot begin correctly unless the ritual is performed in the accepted sequence.
The bill is closed at 11:08 PM.
Nobody remembers what they ate. Everyone remembers what they paid.