The Matter of Delivery Fee Threshold Math
Free delivery is available at a minimum order of $25. The order is $22.50. What happens next has been formally documented.
Terms and Conditions: Delivery Fee Threshold Math Governing Document for Free Delivery Eligibility Decisions
Section 1: Threshold Definition
Free delivery is available on orders meeting or exceeding the Minimum Order Amount, as set by the Platform and displayed at checkout. This amount shall be referred to herein as the Threshold.
The Threshold does not negotiate. The Threshold does not round.
Section 2: Threshold Gap
In the event that the consumer's intended order falls below the Threshold, a Threshold Gap exists. The Threshold Gap is the difference between the consumer's intended order total and the Minimum Order Amount.
The consumer may respond to the Threshold Gap in one of three ways, as defined below.
Section 3: Response Options
Option A: Pay the Delivery Fee. The consumer accepts the delivery fee as a cost of the transaction and does not modify the order. This option is selected in a minority of documented cases. It is the most efficient option. It is not perceived as the most efficient option.
Option B: Close the App. The consumer determines that the delivery fee renders the order unsatisfying and closes the application. This option does not result in the consumer eating. A follow-up decision is required within approximately forty minutes.
Option C: Add an Item. The consumer shall add one item to the cart for the purpose of meeting the free delivery threshold, and that item shall be something the consumer would not otherwise have ordered, and it shall cost more than the delivery fee.
Section 4: The Added Item
The item added to meet the threshold shall be selected after a minimum of ninety seconds of browsing, during which the consumer reviews items that cost less than the Threshold Gap and rejects them for reasons including: not worth ordering alone, would make the order too large, I already have that at home, or no particular reason.
The consumer shall then select an item that meets the Threshold but also increases the total order cost by an amount exceeding the original delivery fee. This selection shall feel like a solution.
The item added to meet the threshold shall arrive alongside the original order and shall be consumed either immediately, out of a sense of commitment, or not at all. A third outcome, deferred consumption with intent, exists in theory.
Section 5: Post-Order Assessment
Following delivery, the consumer may calculate the effective cost of the transaction, including the cost of the added item and any applicable service fees. This calculation is not recommended by these Terms. Consumers who perform the calculation and compare the result to the delivery fee they were avoiding do so at their own initiative, and findings of this nature are outside the scope of these Terms.
Governing Absurdity
The free delivery threshold is a pricing mechanism, not a consumer benefit. The consumer treats it as a puzzle to solve. The puzzle has a solution. The solution costs more than the thing being avoided.
Contradiction
The consumer added the item to save money.
This is technically accurate.