The Matter of Tea Offer Recursion

"Tea?" said Meera.

"No, I'm fine," said Priya.

Meera looked at Rohan.

"Go on then," said Rohan.

Priya looked at Rohan. Priya looked at Meera. Priya looked at the kitchen and performed a private calculation that she would not have been able to articulate aloud but which involved: whether she actually wanted tea, whether wanting tea and being the only one who wanted tea were the same problem, whether saying no and then watching two people have tea was the kind of experience she was prepared for right now, and whether the tea would be good.

"Actually," said Priya, "I'll have one too."

Meera made three cups.

The process took seven minutes. The tea was good.

While the tea cooled, all three parties discussed why they had said no to tea and then said yes to tea, and whether this was a function of social confirmation, genuine preference recalculation, or simple indecision.

Rohan said he thought it was social confirmation.

Priya said she hadn't actually wanted tea, but Rohan saying yes had made tea feel like an activity rather than a beverage.

Meera said she had already known she would be making three cups.

"Next time just say yes first," said Rohan.

"Next time just make three cups," said Meera.

"Next time ask in the right order," said Priya.

The technique of asking in the right order was suggested. The right order was debated. The right order was eventually determined to be: ask the person most likely to say yes first, so that later refusals have something to compare against.

Repetition turned the technique into kitchen wisdom. The technique was used at the following meeting. It worked.

Skipping the offer-recursion eventually looks careless instead of efficient. Meera now makes extra cups preemptively.

Nobody has acknowledged this.

Everyone has accepted tea the first time it was offered since she started doing it.