Application for Weeknight Coding Guilt
The person opened a side project at 9 PM on a Wednesday. They closed it by 9:17. The guilt has been filed.
Official Application for Recognition of Weeknight Coding Guilt Filed August 10, 2022 Applicant: The Person Who Opened The Side Project at 9 PM
Section 1: Description of the Incident
On Wednesday, August 10, 2022, the applicant completed a standard workday ending at approximately 6:45 PM. The applicant ate dinner, engaged in approximately two hours of unstructured activity, and opened a side project repository at 9:02 PM.
The side project is a web application that has been in development for seven months and is approximately 40% complete by the applicant's own estimate. The estimate has remained at 40% for six weeks.
The applicant reviewed two open issues, opened one file, read twelve lines of code, and closed the application at 9:17 PM.
Section 2: Basis for the Application
The applicant requests formal recognition of the guilt produced by this sequence of events, which is currently unclassified and has been accumulating since 9:17 PM.
The guilt is composed of the following elements in approximately equal proportions:
Element A: Inadequacy of the Attempt. Fifteen minutes is not a coding session. It is a gesture. The applicant is aware that progress requires sustained effort and that a fifteen-minute visit to a repository does not constitute sustained effort. Visiting the repository while too tired to make progress has produced no output and a record of the attempt.
Element B: The Predictability of the Outcome. The applicant opened the project at 9 PM on a Wednesday. The applicant has opened the project at 9 PM on weeknights before. These sessions have ended in the same way. The applicant knew the session would end in the same way and opened the project regardless.
The project requires sustained attention. Wednesday at 9 PM does not contain sustained attention.
Element C: The Gap Between the Project and the Weekend. The applicant now has a record of having not worked on the project on a day that was available. The weekend is four days away. The weekend will also have other claims on it. The project will be 40% complete on Saturday.
Section 3: The Absurd Rule
The guilt is proportional to the ambition of the project and inversely proportional to the progress made. A person who does not open the project does not feel guilt about not opening it. A person who opens it for fifteen minutes feels guilt about the fifteen minutes. Ambition generates more guilt than absence.
The correct time to work on the project is on a weekend morning before other obligations have arrived. The applicant knows this.
Section 4: Current Status
Opening the project produced hope. Closing the project produced guilt. The project has not been touched in either direction.
The application is submitted for the record. The applicant will attempt again next week.
Submitted at 9:47 PM. The applicant is now watching television.