Minutes Concerning Dinner Phone Basket
Any dinner phone basket stated as a boundary must be defended even after maintaining it becomes inconvenient.
TERMS AND CONDITIONS GOVERNING USE OF THE DINNER PHONE BASKET
Version: Current, as practiced
Effective Date: When the basket was first placed on the counter
Last Amended: At the dinner when someone needed to show everyone something
1. Definitions
"Basket" refers to the physical or designated container into which devices are placed at the start of a meal.
"Exception" refers to any use of a device during the meal that does not violate the spirit of the boundary, as determined by the person who proposed the basket and who is therefore the authority on what violates its spirit.
"One photo" refers to the agreed permissible use of a device during the meal for the purpose of documenting the meal, which is a use that may be requested by any participant once per dinner and which does not constitute a violation of the boundary because it is in service of the occasion the boundary was designed to protect.
2. General Terms
Someone puts phones away during dinner and creates an exception for taking one photo. This is the core mechanic. The terms below govern the exception's conditions, its frequency, and its scope.
First consequence. The first case of dinner phone basket changes one small decision without being discussed. A habit of photographing meals before eating them was adjusted. The adjustment was not announced. The basket created the adjustment without requiring conversation.
Second consequence. After repetition, other people begin adjusting their behavior around dinner phone basket. Participants who had not previously been aware of their device checking frequency become aware of it. The awareness is uncomfortable for approximately three dinners. It then becomes the new normal.
Third consequence. Eventually dinner phone basket acquires an unwritten enforcement system that everyone denies creating. The person who reaches for their device first is noticed. The noticing is not verbal. It is the kind of noticing that adjusts behavior without requiring speech.
3. The Contradiction
The boundary is meant to reduce obligation. Maintaining the boundary is a new obligation. Specifically: the obligation to model correct basket behavior, to administer the one-photo exception without appearing to gatekeep the one-photo exception, and to remember that the basket was your idea when someone asks why there is a basket.
4. The Relevant Absurd Rule
A limit counts as successful only if the person enforcing it can prove they still care about everyone affected. The basket proves it. The basket is there. The proof is ongoing.
These terms are subject to amendment at any dinner where someone needs to check something quickly.