Minutes Concerning You Choose Deadlock
Notes from a meeting in which two parties agreed that the other party should decide, and no decision was reached.
MEETING MINUTES Meeting Type: Meal Selection Coordination Attendees: Two parties, unnamed Duration: 23 minutes Outcome: No meal selected
Agenda Item 1: Initial Decision Request
Party A opened the discussion by stating that they had no strong preference and that Party B should choose.
Party B indicated appreciation for the flexibility and noted that they also had no strong preference, and suggested Party A should choose.
This exchange was recorded as the first cycle of the deadlock.
Agenda Item 2: Re-routing Attempts
Party A attempted to break the deadlock by offering a binary choice: "Italian or Indian?" Party B said either was fine.
Party A clarified that "either is fine" does not constitute a choice.
Party B clarified that they genuinely had no preference, and that this should make things easier for Party A.
The meeting noted that genuine preference absence does not produce a decision. It produces a request for decision leadership. Leadership was not accepted.
Agenda Item 3: Both people can see the same social rule, yet naming it directly would feel more awkward than obeying it.
Both parties are aware that one of them will need to choose. Both parties are also aware that choosing first creates an asymmetry: the chooser becomes responsible for the meal's quality, the wait time, the parking situation, and any ambient dissatisfaction that follows.
No one may correct you choose deadlock unless they are willing to own the replacement procedure. The replacement procedure is: choose the meal. This requires accepting responsibility for the meal.
Neither party accepted responsibility for the meal.
Agenda Item 4: Workaround Deployment
A small workaround was deployed at minute 14: Party A suggested they "just see what's nearby" and decide when they arrived somewhere. Party B agreed.
This workaround produced a second check: upon arriving nearby, they surveyed three options and each confirmed the other's choice would be acceptable. No choice was made. The survey was abandoned and they entered the nearest restaurant, which was not the one either party would have chosen if asked.
Action Items
- No action items were assigned.
- The deadlock is expected to recur at the next meal selection opportunity.
- No pre-emptive procedure has been proposed.
Meeting adjourned at approximately 7:40 PM.
Soon the ordinary action of selecting a meal has a parallel administrative system built around you choose deadlock. The system takes longer than choosing a meal. The meal, ultimately, is whatever was closest.