Terms Governing Beard Trim Asymmetry

Article I: Definitions

Beard Trim Asymmetry shall mean the condition arising when a minor correction applied to one side of a beard is perceived to create, or reveal, a corresponding irregularity on the other side.

The Correction shall mean any grooming action taken to address Beard Trim Asymmetry.

The Secondary Correction shall mean the action taken when The Correction is found to have produced a new instance of Beard Trim Asymmetry on the opposing side.

Article II: Governing Rule

The governing rule requires that beard trim asymmetry may be postponed until discomfort converts it into an emergency. Once noticed, the emergency is immediate. The governing rule no longer applies.

Article III: Procedure

Section 3.1. Upon discovery of an uneven patch, the subject shall make one corrective pass on the affected side.

Section 3.2. The subject shall then inspect the opposing side.

Section 3.3. The subject shall find the opposing side insufficient.

Section 3.4. The subject shall correct the opposing side.

Section 3.5. The subject shall then return to the original side.

Sections 3.2 through 3.5 shall repeat until one of the following conditions is met:

(a) The subject achieves symmetry to an acceptable standard, OR
(b) The beard is shorter than intended, OR
(c) The subject accepts asymmetry on grounds of time.

Condition (b) is the most common outcome.

Article IV: Escalation

Beard Trim Asymmetry becomes a task for later that day. Later becomes a repeated checkpoint, so the person monitors the task more than completing it. Eventually the maintenance ritual creates more timing and self-negotiation than the maintenance itself.

Article V: Termination

These Terms terminate upon acceptance of condition (c) or upon the next scheduled trim, at which point they renew.

The person who has shortened a beard by correcting the correction is a party to these Terms whether or not they have read them.