Terms Governing Chair Squeak Management

The chair has a squeak. The squeak was first observed in late 2020. It was attributed at the time to new-chair behavior that would resolve through regular use. Regular use has continued for eleven months. The squeak has not resolved.

Squeak Taxonomy

The squeak falls into two categories.

Category A: weight-shift squeak. This occurs when the occupant shifts their weight from one side to the other, or from the seated position to a slightly forward-leaning position, or from a slightly forward-leaning position back to the seated position. It is brief. It is distinct.

Category B: ambient rotation squeak. This occurs when the chair is rotated more than approximately fifteen degrees on its base. It is longer than Category A and slightly lower in pitch. It sounds more like a complaint.

The Protocol

The management protocol that has developed around chair squeak does not address the squeak itself. It addresses the conditions under which the squeak occurs.

The chair does not squeak when the person is sitting still. This has produced a strong incentive to sit still. During video calls, the occupant adopts a position early in the call and maintains it until the call ends. The position is not always comfortable. The position is quieter than the alternative.

Administrative Neutrality

The neutrality of this analysis does not indicate indifference to the squeak. It indicates acceptance that the squeak is not a variable in the analysis. The squeak exists. It will continue to exist until the chair is repaired or replaced. Repair requires identifying the specific mechanism responsible, which has not been done. Replacement requires a decision about chair selection that has been deferred since November 2020.

The squeak is not loud. It is precisely loud enough to be heard by the person on the other end of a video call at the moment when a weight shift happens to coincide with a quiet moment in the conversation. This timing is not deliberate. The chair does not know when the conversation is quiet.

Finding

The protocol will remain in effect. The protocol is: do not move during calls. The protocol's effectiveness is high. Its cost is a mild stiffness in the lower back on days with many calls, which has been noted and attributed to the chair without further investigation.

The chair was well-reviewed at the time of purchase. Three of the four reviews mentioned comfort. None mentioned squeak. This information is no longer useful.