Terms Governing Spare Key Hiding
The spare key was hidden so well that it has now become a security system that works against everyone in the house.
Terms Governing Spare Key Hiding
Version: Current Effective Date: Unknown (predates present household configuration) Parties: All residents, prospective residents, and emergency contacts
Article I: The Hiding
The housemate who hides a spare key so carefully that nobody can remember the hiding place has exercised their right under the governing rule, which states: Any spare key hiding that survives three cleanups must be treated as permanent household infrastructure.
The hiding location was chosen at some point that no party can specifically identify. Options discussed at the time included: under the mat, behind the flowerpot, inside the lockbox that was never purchased, and "somewhere good." Somewhere good was selected.
The spare key hiding gains a preferred location that nobody remembers choosing.
Article II: The Retrieval Problem
The spare key exists. This is established. The spare key's existence can be confirmed by the housemate who hid it, who will, when asked, demonstrate certainty about its existence and substantially less certainty about its precise location.
Adjacent objects are reorganized to protect the arrangement from accidental correction. The spare key was described as being near the electrical meter at some point before the meter box was cleaned out. Its current location is adjacent to where it was, or is in a different location based on the cleanup.
The spare key hiding is treated as too useful to remove and too inconvenient to organize properly.
Article III: Emergency Provisions
In the event of a lockout, the following steps apply:
- Ask housemate who hid the key.
- Accompany housemate to area described as "around there."
- Participate in a search of the area described as "around there."
- Conclude search.
- Call a locksmith.
The locksmith has been called twice. The housemate continues to believe the spare key is accessible.
Article IV: Reform
A future cleanup creates a formal appeals process led by the person who originally said it was temporary. That process has not been initiated. The spare key remains hidden. Its location is secure from all parties, including the party who hid it.
These terms are binding. They cannot be amended until the key is found.