The Goodbye Process Has Entered Its Final Extension
Both parties have agreed to end the call, and neither has ended the call, and this is now the fourth agreement.
What Is Being Classified
Who Hangs Up First is the negotiation that occurs at the end of a phone call between two people who have both agreed, verbally, that the call is over.
The call is not over.
Observed Sequence
- A topic is resolved. A natural ending is reached.
- One party says: "Okay, I'll let you go."
- The other party does not go. The other party says: "Okay, yeah, speak soon."
- Neither party disconnects.
- A new topic is introduced. It is a small topic, a topic that would not have justified calling in the first place.
- The small topic is resolved.
- Return to step 2.
Governing Rule
Under the governing rule, a social inconvenience may continue indefinitely if ending it would require naming the inconvenience.
Hanging up first creates the impression that the caller was slightly more eager to end the call than the other person, which is a small social asymmetry nobody wants to be responsible for.
Hanging up simultaneously requires coordination that would make the coordination visible, which would require acknowledging that both parties are managing this.
The call continues.
Classification Status
Who Hangs Up First is classified as a courtesy extension protocol that functions correctly as long as both parties pretend it is spontaneous.
The call ends when one party is physically interrupted by something in their environment, providing an external reason that removes the social cost of disconnecting.
This is considered a clean resolution.