Field Guide to Moisturizer Hand Delay
Moisturizer has been applied. The hands are now raised slightly, hovering. Every surface has become hypothetically porous.
FIELD GUIDE TO MOISTURIZER HAND DELAY
Subject: Post-Application Hand Management in Domestic Settings Coverage: Stages One through Four Recommended For: Anyone who has walked through a room with elevated hands
Stage One: Application
Moisturizer is applied. Both hands are coated. The task is complete.
The governing rule: if moisturizer hand delay can be fixed later, later retains jurisdiction until the last practical minute.
Stage Two: The Interim Period
The hands are not useless. They are in a transitional state that the practitioner has chosen to treat as a medical condition. During Stage Two, the following behaviors are observed:
- Hands held slightly apart from the body
- Palms rotated to face outward or upward
- Avoidance of fabrics, surfaces, door handles, phones, and all objects that were ordinary sixty seconds ago
- A brief calculation of how long absorption typically takes, producing an estimate that will prove optimistic
The person walks around their home in this posture. It looks like someone who has been newly instructed not to touch anything.
Stage Three: The Miscalculation
Stage Three begins when the practitioner attempts to perform a task and realizes they have underestimated the absorption timeline. Common triggers include: the phone rings, a door needs opening, an itch appears somewhere on the face.
Each of these events requires a decision. The decision requires the hands. The hands are unavailable.
A brief inventory is taken of which tasks could be completed without functional hands. This inventory is short.
Stage Four: The Secondary Check
After a period judged sufficient, the hands are tested against a surface. The test is performed cautiously. If the surface does not feel unacceptably tacky, the Delay is considered resolved.
Eventually the checking becomes a second maintenance routine attached to the first. The practitioner is now maintaining a moisturizing practice and a monitoring practice simultaneously.
Both will be repeated tomorrow.
This guide does not cover tube-cap replacement delay, which is a related but separate phenomenon documented elsewhere.